I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
