I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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