i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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