He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Enjoy the penises
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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