well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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