I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
