my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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