Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
