the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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