Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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