i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking