Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face

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  (609): you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face http://tfl.nu/l9l7
  Replies (23) Good night (2351) Bad night (713)
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  (310): View more from California

  Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..

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  (310): Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand.. http://tfl.nu/3e9c
  Replies (28) Good night (1249) Bad night (5912)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.

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  (407): He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy. http://tfl.nu/rtg1
  Replies (41) Good night (1907) Bad night (8296)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed

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  (604): his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed http://tfl.nu/zsvf
  Replies (20) Good night (1130) Bad night (4702)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.

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  (941): I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever. http://tfl.nu/ukm2
  Replies (11) Good night (5086) Bad night (1067)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's shedding

  (1-912): View more from Georgia

  I told you penises don't tan

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  (912): It's shedding (1-912): I told you penises don't tan http://tfl.nu/7fx9
  Replies (43) Good night (1476) Bad night (10284)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.

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  (978): My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me. http://tfl.nu/a4fn
  Replies (6) Good night (2466) Bad night (657)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on

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  (506): Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on http://tfl.nu/ntvw
  Replies (8) Good night (5780) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"

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  (541): I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice" http://tfl.nu/9e22
  Replies (10) Good night (2765) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.

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  (704): And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control. http://tfl.nu/cnqj
  Replies (18) Good night (2355) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft

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  (415): If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft http://tfl.nu/qde3
  Replies (1) Good night (915) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.

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  (+44): I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no. http://tfl.nu/bvly
  Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.

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  (818): The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink. http://tfl.nu/7x1a
  Replies (2) Good night (368) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing

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  (214): when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing http://tfl.nu/yb6j
  Replies (6) Good night (608) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.

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  (601): This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw. http://tfl.nu/221m
  Replies (4) Good night (886) Bad night (283)

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