Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.

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  (904): You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus. http://tfl.nu/zy6a
  Replies (37) Good night (4849) Bad night (943)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.

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  (571): She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/q72a
  Replies (24) Good night (1673) Bad night (3835)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.

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  (260): I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/i41h
  Replies (28) Good night (3951) Bad night (5794)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night

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  (952): Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night http://tfl.nu/i23x
  Replies (1) Good night (2094) Bad night (1151)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?

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  (954): oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied? http://tfl.nu/xnft
  Replies (22) Good night (2001) Bad night (1904)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  3pm strippers are depressing

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  (320): 3pm strippers are depressing http://tfl.nu/w12t
  Replies (19) Good night (966) Bad night (1953)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.

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  (940): This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying. http://tfl.nu/0zt5
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (1089)
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  (529): View more from

  Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.

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  (529): Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble. http://tfl.nu/he57
  Replies (10) Good night (752) Bad night (1683)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You might end up in the wrong class.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.

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  (910): Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class? (919): You might end up in the wrong class. (910): I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class. http://tfl.nu/dnad
  Replies (8) Good night (2106) Bad night (698)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct

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  (207): my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct http://tfl.nu/asi5
  Replies (0) Good night (537) Bad night (450)
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  (408): View more from California

  Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain

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  (408): Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain http://tfl.nu/bezg
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (414)
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  (707): View more from California

  Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..

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  (707): Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult.. http://tfl.nu/smpu
  Replies (6) Good night (950) Bad night (414)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".

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  (501): While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors". http://tfl.nu/n1au
  Replies (2) Good night (607) Bad night (310)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.

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  (913): Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again. http://tfl.nu/khdg
  Replies (1) Good night (755) Bad night (414)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.

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  (216): He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight. http://tfl.nu/p204
  Replies (3) Good night (200) Bad night (391)

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