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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't

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• (619): View more from California

  thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"

  (1-914): View more from New York

  New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now

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• (716): View more from New York

  But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.

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