i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
