The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
