he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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