i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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