After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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