ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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