She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
