My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
