operation harelip BJ is a go
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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