It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
