I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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