like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
