he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
