Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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