i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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