Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
