you would pick up someone in the library
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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