It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
pray to the hookup gods
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
