Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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