I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
