my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Randomize
