Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
