This house was built for laser tag.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
