Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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