C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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