Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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