Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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