According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
