i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
