In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
