I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
