i just wanna soil my oats bro
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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