Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ugly people sure do ruin things
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
