some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
