Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
