The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
