its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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