If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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