Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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