he puts the penis in happiness.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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