Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
