so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
