i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
