How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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