That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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