Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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