Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
